In the past month, I’ve been absent from social media and focusing on myself and my son. Although I’ve not publicly documented any Year of Fear activities I’ve been embracing fear, anxiety, and uncomfortable events every day.
As my last post identified I ended a relationship that was toxic to both parties and then was faced with a medical issue that I was not caring for properly. I have been amazed at the love and support my friends and family have shown and I’ve also realized those that are incapable of supporting me.
I have evaluated my life and realigned my priorities to achieve happiness and success beyond current measure. I am excited and happy to embark on a new chapter of my life that has already provided abundant gifts and rewards.
During these 32 days I have been focusing on recovering medically and spiritually. It has been the best thing I’ve done for myself. I have re-established my faith in MY Higher Power and I am already witnessing the amazing gifts he/she has for me.
The picture above is my first tattoo, which I got soon after I was discharged from the hospital.
For me, this tattoo signifies survival and acceptance. Trusting in the universe to direct me where I need to go and being able to sense the darkness that will cloud my world.
Jellyfish have been in existence for over 650 million years and are able to easily adapt to changes in climate. They have survived all five major extinction events in the earth’s past and have even contributed to modern medicine with Green fluorescent protein (GFP).
Jellyfish are simple, yet complex creatures they do not rely on gills, lungs or a heart like most animals and have limited swimming capabilities. They must rely on instincts for survival and the currents and winds to transport them.
The jellyfish symbolizes a trust in nature and the ocean to transport and provide for them.
I am re-embarking on Year of Fear with a trust in a greater power to guide me. I will not necessarily post every day but I have committed to publishing, at a minimum, one “Fear” each week, with a goal of publishing three.
Join me on my journey and share your journey and fears with me!
– Always with Love
Goodbye – relationship
There comes a point in our existence that we must Let Go.
Today, I let go of something I wanted to hold on to. I realized, the Universe was doing for me what I was incapable of doing. But I let go of something I was trying to hold onto.
I must note, I’m human, so I’m nowhere near perfect. I have a lot of faults. Many of which I wish I could have realized earlier, but all of which will be tackled.
I learned today that I was placing bets on something that was a bad investment.
So I’ve now let go 100%.
There will never be another moment or thought about that adventure.
I’m eternally grateful for the experiences I’ve had and the lessons I’ve learned.
May you appreciate what you have today, realize what you’re worth and live up to your potential!
Embracing my fear of staying silent.
One of the hardest things I’m realizing as I grow into a bigger KID is that I have to be silent, sometimes. I am a passionate person and an opinionated person and an individual who’s not afraid to say I don’t agree with you or that I feel XYZ type of way.
Usually, it ends me in good places. But, when it comes to things I’m passionate about…. sometimes I can come across as overzealous, intense, crazy, irrational, bitchy…. well the list can go on. And sometimes I screw up pretty darn good.
But being silent can do so much.
I am silent today, Day 22 of Year of Fear because I want nothing more than to say a lot of things and do a lot of things to prove myself. BUT…. my fear today – is to be silent and as the Beatles sang “Let it be.”
Attend my first Powerlifting meet as a spectator.
I must admit I was nervous about attending a Powerlifting meet due to personal insecurities about my athleticism and appearance. Sometimes we all can feel a bit nervous when we want to venture out and it’s easy to think of reasons why we can’t do something rather then why we CAN.
I was speaking with my brother recently about my passion for fitness and why I have never ventured into training people or competing. My excuses were all B.S. Most all had to do with my perception of what people would think.
Now if you know my brother just imagine his “Zenness” — he said “If you keep waiting, thinking you have to look a certain wait to follow your passion then you will waste your life. Shoot if you feel you don’t look the par – then perform above par and shock them all.”
Today I took the first step towards competing in a Powerlifting meet by viewing one as a spectator. The event is very straightforward and I think with some dedicated training I’ll be ready to compete by this summer.
Follow my Instagram for daily pictures!
Today I am launching my website May – Me and You.
Me and You will be an unfolding idea I’ve had for a while.
Today and over the next few weeks I’ll develop more features on the site and share them across platforms.
I’m embracing a fear of judgment for what I’ve created and what I’m trying to accomplish.